Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch pt II




If you need to catch up, go check out "Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch"
New! Part 3! Dyke Watch the 3rd

Look who's playing "Two Truths and a Lie"??

In trying to squelch the rumors that she's dating co-beard Robert Pattinson, Miss Stewart says:

"There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: 'Ok, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.' I’m just trying to keep something."

Listen toots. I've been in every awkward 'let's get to know each other' game EVER. Between being involved with theatre as a kid, going to a hippy college, and dabbling in yruu conferences, you can't get anything past me. I am a champion at 'Two Truths and a Lie'.

Plus, don't think I don't know all about 'joking' that you're gay! Coming out's a bitch, isn't it? it's so much easier to be a satire of yourself. 'Look at what a dyke I am! I am soooo gay for you... let's make out! JUST KIDDING noreallywannaholdhandsinmyroomandlistentosleaterkinney?'

Honey, honey, you'll be ok. You're what, 19? ouch. Just don't be like your BFF Jodie Foster and wait until you're 45 to come out publicly, only to immediately dump your gf. That was just really awkward for all of us.

Anyone wanna play 'Two Truths and a Lie' in the comments? I'm jonesing for some nerdy fun now.

2 comments:

YoungCreature said... / December 3, 2009 at 12:29 PM  

“I thought they were going to hate me, but they love it. I love girls who are in love with me." - KStew (referring to her female Twilight fans)

Anonymous said... / December 10, 2009 at 7:24 PM  

I'll play. Which are the truths and which is the lie?

- Kristen Stewart is not gay
- Kristen Stewart is gay
- Kristen Stewart is gay

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