If you didn't yet know, Le Tigre recently wrote some songs for Christina Aguilera's upcoming album Bionic. If you are thinking "HUH?" then think again! I've always been a huge Christina fan and it makes total sense to me that these two forces would team up. I imagine that Kathleen Hanna would actually be a great person to write vocals for Christina because while their voices are very different, they have the commonality of both being very big & booming. Johanna Fateman from Le Tigre just blogged about working with Christina on Le Tigre's website, so read about it from the Tigre's mouth below:
"I just saw the Marie Claire with CHRISTINA AGUILERA on the cover and I realized we are waaaay overdue for an update. Yes, the rumors are true. . . Le Tigre wrote and produced a couple of songs with Christina! Not wanting to break the spell of this magic opportunity as we wait in suspense to hear if our tracks make it on the album, we’ve been quiet on the topic. But now that the buzz is getting crazy I just can’t contain myself. Needless to say, for a feminist band obsessed with pop music, it was pretty much a dream come true.
Around this time last year we got word that Deceptacon was Christina’s jam and that she wanted to work with Le Tigre on some new songs. At first we were tormented by the goal of writing “another Deceptacon” for her, wondering how to crack the code to its energy and production style (“shit, do we have to find an HR16-B on eBay and synch-up a fast beat with a warped guitar sample on an antique Mirage?!”) plus we wanted to write melodies that would showcase Christina’s incredible voice. The pressure was on! But we quickly realized that we just had to be ourselves and put our hearts into pulling together our best demos to play for her.
So. . . we prepared for our trip to LA to work with her in a typically crazy Le Tigre way due to our individually hectic schedules. Kathleen and I were in NYC meeting up periodically, handing off beats on mini-drives, and downloading JD’s arpeggiator loops and basslines sent from hotels rooms and backstage wi-fi all across the country (she was on tour with MEN). And, oh yeah, did I mention I had just given birth?! In June I flew to LA with my 11 week old baby Goldie and met up with JD at the airport shuttle to the car rental place. Kathleen stayed in NYC and we did lyric brainstorming via text messages, and JD and I sent her running to FedEx with her secret signature vocal FX box so Christina could try it out.
Meeting Christina and working with her at her home studio was simultaneously super comfortable and normal-seeming while also kind of a mind-blowing window into another world. If you’ve read the Marie Claire article you know about the crucifix doorknobs and plush couches, red and black decor, dish of ricolas and awesome speakers. But what made me feel at home as an artistic collaborator was that the space she had to be creative in was also filled with cool art and beautiful books and tons of notepads and a million great pens. Curling up in sweatpants, puzzling over lyrics and checking her blackberry while the beat loops forever. . . Hey Christina is just like us after all! She is totally cool and hilarious and down-to-earth.
But when it came time to lay down vocals we were in awe. She is a technical virtuoso behind the mic, layering take after take of flawless vocals and coming up with variations, ad-libs, and harmonies on the fly. And while her voice is like a force of nature, she is completely disciplined in her approach to recording and realizing her vision for each track. At the end of each night she would have a CD burned for her and come back with detailed comments about things she wanted to perfect the next day.
It was definitely intimidating, when we stopped and thought about it, to work with such a huge star (I mean, she has her own perfume line), so we tried not to think about it too much. Obviously Christina has a massive audience and a mainstream presence, and so the question a lot people ask about the experience is how did this change or influence our approach to the content of the songs. Together we tailored themes and specific references to her personality and image but found a ton of common ground in our aim to make upbeat danceable tracks celebrating female friendship, strength, and of course, PARTYING. And while the giant sound of her stacked vocals and the pop sheen she lends to the tracks might seem at odds with Le Tigre’s aesthetic roots, it really works. The songs have a lot of elements we’re known for, like a garage guitar sound, schoolyard chants, new wave-y synths, electro beats, and somehow it all sounds crazily right with Christina’s unbelievable voice. We hope you get to hear the songs sometime soon!
In other news, we’ve been busy shooting interviews and gearing up to promote our forthcoming DVD of live performances, backstage antics and touring adventures. More on that later. . .
Love, JO"
***
And there you have it! Bonus: One of my favorite Christina songs:
Christina Aguilera feat. Lil Kim- "Can't Hold Us Down"
Christina Aguilera + Le Tigre
Christina Aguilera + Le Tigre
If you didn't yet know, Le Tigre recently wrote some songs for Christina Aguilera's upcoming album Bionic. If you are thinking "HUH?" then think again! I've always been a huge Christina fan and it makes total sense to me that these two forces would team up. I imagine that Kathleen Hanna would actually be a great person to write vocals for Christina because while their voices are very different, they have the commonality of both being very big & booming. Johanna Fateman from Le Tigre just blogged about working with Christina on Le Tigre's website, so read about it from the Tigre's mouth below:
"I just saw the Marie Claire with CHRISTINA AGUILERA on the cover and I realized we are waaaay overdue for an update. Yes, the rumors are true. . . Le Tigre wrote and produced a couple of songs with Christina! Not wanting to break the spell of this magic opportunity as we wait in suspense to hear if our tracks make it on the album, we’ve been quiet on the topic. But now that the buzz is getting crazy I just can’t contain myself. Needless to say, for a feminist band obsessed with pop music, it was pretty much a dream come true.
Around this time last year we got word that Deceptacon was Christina’s jam and that she wanted to work with Le Tigre on some new songs. At first we were tormented by the goal of writing “another Deceptacon” for her, wondering how to crack the code to its energy and production style (“shit, do we have to find an HR16-B on eBay and synch-up a fast beat with a warped guitar sample on an antique Mirage?!”) plus we wanted to write melodies that would showcase Christina’s incredible voice. The pressure was on! But we quickly realized that we just had to be ourselves and put our hearts into pulling together our best demos to play for her.
So. . . we prepared for our trip to LA to work with her in a typically crazy Le Tigre way due to our individually hectic schedules. Kathleen and I were in NYC meeting up periodically, handing off beats on mini-drives, and downloading JD’s arpeggiator loops and basslines sent from hotels rooms and backstage wi-fi all across the country (she was on tour with MEN). And, oh yeah, did I mention I had just given birth?! In June I flew to LA with my 11 week old baby Goldie and met up with JD at the airport shuttle to the car rental place. Kathleen stayed in NYC and we did lyric brainstorming via text messages, and JD and I sent her running to FedEx with her secret signature vocal FX box so Christina could try it out.
Meeting Christina and working with her at her home studio was simultaneously super comfortable and normal-seeming while also kind of a mind-blowing window into another world. If you’ve read the Marie Claire article you know about the crucifix doorknobs and plush couches, red and black decor, dish of ricolas and awesome speakers. But what made me feel at home as an artistic collaborator was that the space she had to be creative in was also filled with cool art and beautiful books and tons of notepads and a million great pens. Curling up in sweatpants, puzzling over lyrics and checking her blackberry while the beat loops forever. . . Hey Christina is just like us after all! She is totally cool and hilarious and down-to-earth.
But when it came time to lay down vocals we were in awe. She is a technical virtuoso behind the mic, layering take after take of flawless vocals and coming up with variations, ad-libs, and harmonies on the fly. And while her voice is like a force of nature, she is completely disciplined in her approach to recording and realizing her vision for each track. At the end of each night she would have a CD burned for her and come back with detailed comments about things she wanted to perfect the next day.
It was definitely intimidating, when we stopped and thought about it, to work with such a huge star (I mean, she has her own perfume line), so we tried not to think about it too much. Obviously Christina has a massive audience and a mainstream presence, and so the question a lot people ask about the experience is how did this change or influence our approach to the content of the songs. Together we tailored themes and specific references to her personality and image but found a ton of common ground in our aim to make upbeat danceable tracks celebrating female friendship, strength, and of course, PARTYING. And while the giant sound of her stacked vocals and the pop sheen she lends to the tracks might seem at odds with Le Tigre’s aesthetic roots, it really works. The songs have a lot of elements we’re known for, like a garage guitar sound, schoolyard chants, new wave-y synths, electro beats, and somehow it all sounds crazily right with Christina’s unbelievable voice. We hope you get to hear the songs sometime soon!
In other news, we’ve been busy shooting interviews and gearing up to promote our forthcoming DVD of live performances, backstage antics and touring adventures. More on that later. . .
Love, JO"
***
And there you have it! Bonus: One of my favorite Christina songs:
Christina Aguilera feat. Lil Kim- "Can't Hold Us Down"
Freaky Friday
daniel87980 (? -?), Gwen Stefani A Lesbian?, 2009. Sims in HD Video. Courtesy of YouTube.
supersinger9000 (?-?), sim lesbian witches get married, 2009. Sims in Video. Courtesy of YouTube.
ohxmyxgod (?-?), Two Sim Witches Get Engaged, 2008. Sims in Video. Courtesy of YouTube.
Artist's Statement:
"the sims 2 apartment life biaaatch they're evil witches lol"
akane1412 (?-?), Demon Gay sims Woohooing in the bathtub :D, 2007. Sims in Video. Courtesy of YouTube.
Artist's Statement:
"The same two demons of my other video woohooing this time on a bathtub :D also with special video :D"
Sia Announces Tour!
Sia, everyone's favorite Aussie, has announced North American and European tours to support her upcoming album We Are Born. All I know is if Sia's version of You've Changed is any indication of the quality of the upcoming record, We Are Born is definitely something to look forward to and the live show will surely be a great time! As a side note for those superfans out there, word is Sia will be tweeting passwords to buy presale tickets for the tour, so follow her on Twitter to get in on that.
Check out the North American tour dates and a few songs to get you excited!
Vancouver, BC @ Commodore
4/12: Seattle, WA @ Market
4/13: Portland, OR @ Wonder Ballroom
4/14: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom
4/17: Indio, CA @ Coachella
4/19: San Diego, CA @ House Of Blues
4/20: Phoenix, AZ @ The Marquee
4/22: Denver, CO @ Gothic Theatre
4/24: Minneapolis, MN @ Fine Line
4/25: Chicago, IL @ Vic Theatre
4/26: Detroit, MI @ St. Andrews
4/28: Toronto, ON @ Phoenix
4/30: Montreal, QC @ Club Soda
5/1: Boston, MA @ House Of Blues
5/2: Philadelphia, PA @ TLA
5/4: Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
5/5: Annapolis, MD @ Rams Head
5/6: New York, NY @ Terminal 5
Sia - Buttons (CSS Remix)
Sia - Breathe Me (Four Tet Remix)
Lauren Flax f. Sia - You've Changed (DrIkt Freddie Remix)
REJECTED
Apparently, this ad was proposed to whoever runs the Super Bowl or whatever (Does the Super Bowl even mean anything to me other than scarfing as many hot wings as possible? NO!). I have no idea what Man Crunch is, nor do I care. I think it's another one of those websites/iPhone applications where you can track down boy puss in measurements of feet. Regardless, this is my dream date right here. And the main reason? Well, it starts with "p" and ends in "otato chips".
The Gay 90's: You're Standing On My Neck
In the 90's at Lawndale High, there was only 1 person I had my eye on for 5 years (2 if you count Trent. Or 3 if you count Tom Sloane). From 1997 until its end in 2002, Daria was the queen of cool. We just never knew how much since she was always relegated to the background in Beavis And Butthead.
In 1998, I was a little boy starting at a new school with no friends. Yes, my dears, I went to a private college prep school in flashy Weston, Massachusetts. And I knew from the first 5 minutes I was there that I was already the biggest freak ever. From then until I dropped out in 2000, Daria was my queer kid bible. What people should've actually have been saying to me instead of the usual role call of horrible insults and shit (Of course, I had my own Kanye West when in 1999, I revealed to a horrified crowd that our school didn't give 2 fucks about diversity. Uh, we had a DRESS CODE. Hello!? Go me). Daria was the beginning to a self-confidence not even I could grow on my own. I'm barely 5'8", I have bigger worries.
Daria was just plain cool. A fish in a pond too small for her. Though she was always so hyper-realistic about her surroundings, when I watch old episodes now, Daria had a pretty good life. She had crazy parents who in the end, deeply care for her and a shallow sister, who by the end of the show's run, started to shake off her materialistic shackles. Her best friend Jane was the type of bitch I would've killed to have as BFF back in my formative years. She was the first representation of an artist where I went "Hell yeah, that's what I want to be". I should've been more specific. However, Jane is a down ass bitch who always has your back unless you steal her boyfriend from the right side of the tracks.
Remember the episode where Daria goes to her first huge party at Brittany's? There she decides between flat and ridged potato chips, meetsguys who are interested in her (too bad they're boneheads), and hitches a ride home with Upchuck. WTF KIND OF LiFE IS THAT? It's perfect. The perfect high school experience. Not too downer and the right amount of irony. Daria had it all man. AND HER FIRST BOYFRIEND. Tom Sloane originally belonged to Jane before he ditched her for Daria Town. And it was so awkward to watch. But it was important, because the show actually showed experiences teenagers had to deal with. Do I want to have sex with my boyfriend? And if so, what day and time should we plan it for? Do his parents like me? Should I go to Bromwell College? All the stuff that we as teens would stress out over. Back in REAL LIFE, high school was the opposite. Not cool at all and I definitely felt smarter than 90% of the company I kept. OK, not smarter, but definitely like, nobody gets me, so why should I even bother. I was the Daria of my school. Even my frienemies said that to me. Which I guess if that personifies someone who doesn't give a fuck, listens to NOT Dave Matthews Band, and hated his adoloescence, then that'd be me! But what-the-fuck-ever, the same boner who told me that ALSO had a crush on Quinn. Being weird vs. having a crush on a cartoon character, which is weirder?
However, the best part of the show? THE MUSIC. From the opening theme done by Splendora to all the 90's alt rock bands heard (Blur, Fiona Apple, Will Smith back when "Gettin' Jiggy With It" was my JAM), Daria was a cool 5 steps ahead of everyone else. My sister and I used to count how many weird, out-of-place pop songs we'd hear in an episode and then attempt to recreate the entire playlist of the show for ourselves.
When it ended in 2002, Daria had unloaded many lessons upon my husky fat-teen body. The only dumb bitch who can bring you down is your dumbass self. Not everyone is a crazy loser. Learning is actually cool. There is an alternative to the norm. I'm actually not weird. It was heartbreaking to see a piece of history go. Something I could identify with so greatly because in some ways, I was living in Bizarro-Lawndale. But the greatest lesson I learned was from the closing remarks of the show, where Daria is standing at the podium giving her speech for winning some whatever academic award. And her last words are that "there is no moment in life that can't be improved with pizza". I've been stuffing pizza in my face for 8 years. Daria, wherever you are in cartoon post-college world, I hope you're doing great.
Splendora - You're Standing On My Neck
Blur - Boys and Girls
The Donnas - Skintight
Skip to the 5:00 minute mark.
iamamiwhoami
Photo from thegoldenfilter.tumblr.com
A couple of days back a new video was posted to the iamamiwhoami youtube account. Since we posted last time I think everyone has pretty much ruled out Goldfrapp as an option. Rocket doesn't fit the sound of the clips and the Head First album cover couldn't be more different from the look in the viral videos.
Although Christina Aguilera's publicist denied iamamiwhoami has anything to do with her, everyone still seems to be convinced she's behind it. Given the fact that the blond woman crawling through mud could easily be Xtina and that everyone knows she's worked with Ladytron and Goldfrapp, it doesn't seem too far off. BUT...Christina's first single from Bionic is set to be a song called Glam which is supposedly "a poppy, hip-hop inflected throwback to Madonna's Vogue." ???????? HOWEVER...if you get real nerdy on it and decode the numbers as letters and use the dots as spaces it spells out "I T S M E BIONIC". I love viral mysteries!
Let's just imagine for a second though that it's not Christina Aguilera. The internets are speculating alternatives such as NIN, MGMT, Lady Gags, Bjork, The Knife, Fever Ray and Aphex Twin, just to name of few. But what if it were someone less obvious like The Golden Filter? Mysterious, blond, nice looking videos, new record coming soon, the cover for the record matches the imagery....just a thought.
Here are some songs and videos to keep you thinking. We'll keep you updated when iamamiwhoami posts more!
Ladytron - Ghosts
The Golden Filter - Thunderbird
Cypher in the Snow
Cypher in the Snow were a brilliantly strange all dyke punk band from the Bay Area in the '90s. They released several 7"s (Badass and Free, a Free to Fight split with Sleater Kinney, and So I Heard You Have an STD...) plus the full length album Blow Away the Glitter Diamonds Stolen From the Crown. The band, which had a few different line ups, featured Anna Joy Springer (Blatz, The Gr'ups, and author of The Birdwisher), Daniela Sea (later on The L Word), Ulla Imd, Chloe Sherman, Margaret Hitchcock, Shari (of Harum Scarum), and Elitrea Frye, amongst others. They also made one of the goriest (& yes, badass) 7" covers I've ever seen:
Cypher in the Snow are truly indescribable- they need to be heard. While definitely a punk band, they featured banjo, trumpet, and accordion as well, conjuring a sound unlike any heard before or since. Take a listen to this song from their So You Have an STD... 7", and then go find yrself a copy of Blow Away the Glitter Diamonds asap!
Cypher in the Snow- Regression
Edit: 
Here is a link to download Blow Away the Glitter Diamonds..
& here is one of my most favorite Cypher songs, "Blame the Victim," from their split 7" w/Sleater Kinney.
enjoy! xo
Video Crazy
I don't know what chemical got released into the air, but this week (and we're only 3 days in) has already topped the crazy chart. Learn how to strengthen your buttocks, watch 9 grown women act like sophomores in public high, and the first offense Sweden has ever pulled on music.
Kingdom Fabric Live Mix
Hologram by Paul Cupo
In case you haven't been keeping up with Kingdom, he's officially blowing up. I first became familiar Kingdom's music when he produced my friends' band OMG Michelle a couple of years back, but since then he's gotten huge on "the blogs", signed to A-Trak and Nick Catchdub's Fool's Gold label and now he's set to play FabricLive in London. In preparation for that set, he's put out an awesome new mix featuring tracks from his upcoming Mind Reader EP, some remixes he's done and other heavy jams definitely worth checking out.
Mind Reader comes out as a digital and 12" release on February 2nd on Fool's Gold and you can preorder a (very) limited edition 10" from Acephale now...but in the meantime check out the solid FABRICLIVE/Fool's Gold promo mix and a track from (female!) producer Cooly G.
Kingdom's FABRICLIVE/Fool's Gold Promo Mix (Soundcloud link)
02. Cooly G – Weekend Fly
03. Roska – The Sheppard
04. Mosca – Square One (Kingdom Edit ft. Willie Carter)
05. Kingdom – Bust Broke
06. Shaun-D – Spanish Fly (Kingdom Remix)
07. Mike Q – I Am Legend
08. Kanji Kinetic – Thrill Seeker (Kingdom Remix)
09. Dj To̱o РNanue
10. Bok Bok – Citizens Dub ft. Bubbz
11. Untold – Don’t Know. Don’t Care.
12. Bionics vs. Slimzee – The Capsule
13. Kingdom – You
14. Kingdom – Mind Reader ft. Shyvonne (Todd Edwards Remix)
15. Kingdom – Mind Reader ft. Shyvonne (Todd Edwards Dub)
Kingdom Fabric Live Mix
Hologram by Paul Cupo
In case you haven't been keeping up with Kingdom, he's officially blowing up. I first became familiar Kingdom's music when he produced my friends' band OMG Michelle a couple of years back, but since then he's gotten huge on "the blogs", signed to A-Trak and Nick Catchdub's Fool's Gold label and now he's set to play FabricLive in London. In preparation for that set, he's put out an awesome new mix featuring tracks from his upcoming Mind Reader EP, some remixes he's done and other heavy jams definitely worth checking out.
Mind Reader comes out as a digital and 12" release on February 2nd on Fool's Gold and you can preorder a (very) limited edition 10" from Acephale now...but in the meantime check out the solid FABRICLIVE/Fool's Gold promo mix and a track from (female!) producer Cooly G.
Kingdom's FABRICLIVE/Fool's Gold Promo Mix (Soundcloud link)
02. Cooly G – Weekend Fly
03. Roska – The Sheppard
04. Mosca – Square One (Kingdom Edit ft. Willie Carter)
05. Kingdom – Bust Broke
06. Shaun-D – Spanish Fly (Kingdom Remix)
07. Mike Q – I Am Legend
08. Kanji Kinetic – Thrill Seeker (Kingdom Remix)
09. Dj To̱o РNanue
10. Bok Bok – Citizens Dub ft. Bubbz
11. Untold – Don’t Know. Don’t Care.
12. Bionics vs. Slimzee – The Capsule
13. Kingdom – You
14. Kingdom – Mind Reader ft. Shyvonne (Todd Edwards Remix)
15. Kingdom – Mind Reader ft. Shyvonne (Todd Edwards Dub)
Johnny are you queer?
This happened last year so I'm a little late, but since this (THIS being Johnny Weir ice dancing to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face") is possibly the gayest thing I've ever seen I had to share it with y'all. Let it bring some sparkly gay magic to your day too. You're welcome. xox
Johnny are you queer?
This happened last year so I'm a little late, but since this (THIS being Johnny Weir ice dancing to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face") is possibly the gayest thing I've ever seen I had to share it with y'all. Let it bring some sparkly gay magic to your day too. You're welcome. xox
Johnny are you queer?
This happened last year so I'm a little late, but since this (THIS being Johnny Weir ice dancing to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face") is possibly the gayest thing I've ever seen I had to share it with y'all. Let it bring some sparkly gay magic to your day too. You're welcome. xox
Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch pt V
Just five months ago, I wrote the original installation of Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch. I expected this to be a one time thing, mostly a joke, just goofing around. Poking fun at our society (both homo and heterocentric) and their need to order and organize people.
But then it kept coming.. and coming... and coming... the clues, the hints, the overt flaunting of lesbianism..
Our little lady keeps growing and growing, and as she does, the gayvibes just get stronger and stronger. My crush has grown to a disturbing (possibly Chris Hansen inducing) level, and I'm wondering when she's gonna buy a carabiner keychain.
Anyways, The Runaways made it's debut at Sundance this weekend, and Kristen Stewart! Interviews, the red carpet, standing next to Dakota Fanning, it's obvious how un-groomed for celebrity she is. Wearing a ratty hoody She's so wonderfully awkward, and you could make a severe drinking game out of how many sentences she's unable to finish (hint: all of them)
In the beginning of this video, you can see Kris walking the carpet, and she spies the interviewers out of the corner of her eye. She tries to avoid eye contact and make a beeline for the exit, as her .. manager? mom? chaperone? who knows .. escorts her towards them muttering "you've gotta... you gotta..." Poor thing! It's nearly painful to watch her being interviewed. You know she just wants to go home and listen to some 'vintage' sleater-kinney and be done with it.
She geeks out about spending so much time with Joan Jett and what an inspiration she is to her, but the real goodies start at 1:30.
First, an interviewer asks her if it's "great to be a rock chick", which is just a stupid question altogether, but Kris' smirk and "Yeahhh......" is worth your time. Then, and you can hardly hear the question, but someone asks what it was like "getting it on" with Dakota Fanning... I can't even describe how amazingly adorable her stuttering answer is... "Uh it's just uh something we like.. did....."
This video shows the obvious difference between Dakota and Kristen as celebrities. You can tell that Dakota is trying really hard to seem relaxed and not polished and coached,and Kristen is trying not to run out of the room screaming. Dakota's like "i'm wearing a leather jacket! feel my rebellion!!" and Kristen's like "is there a Good Vibes around here?"
The interviewer asks about the kissing scene at around 2:38, and this is so so so good. Kristen shakes her head and goes "it was horrible! ... I hated doing it", after which they both look at each other and laugh. Dakota seems kind of annoyed and says "she's kidding, everybody...." before Kstew tries to lovingly calm her down for insulting her, to which she pulls away going "No!! What???". The final verdict on the kiss from miss thing herself? "It was cool"
Finally, we have Kris gushing about the strength of her mentor and possible older lady crush object Joan Jett. The key to this final video is to insert the word "lesbian" any time she pauses awkwardly (@ :11, :16, :26, + :28). It totally works! ok, ok, the last one, you'd need to insert "was a lesbian". my bad. either way, it's so clear that she's trying to say that Joan Jett is an inspiration to dyke bitches everywhere. She has to make it look like a film with feminist undertones, instead of a big old lez fest. Understood, Kris, I smell what you're cooking.
I'm totally going to fight the hordes of teen girls to see this on opening night. I'll bring a flask, some mace, and a signed picture of Robert Pattinson to ward them off if need be, but I will be there. I might dress up, maybe take pictures... then maybe get arrested for taking pictures of teen girls dressed as Cherie Curie... get a talkin' to by Chris Hanson.. drink some ice tea....
or... maybe it'll leak online first! and I'll be sure to share the link if one pops up.
Come on nerds, hook us up!!
History! KStew Dyke Watch parts 1 - 2 - 3 and 4
Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch pt V
Just five months ago, I wrote the original installation of Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch. I expected this to be a one time thing, mostly a joke, just goofing around. Poking fun at our society (both homo and heterocentric) and their need to order and organize people.
But then it kept coming.. and coming... and coming... the clues, the hints, the overt flaunting of lesbianism..
Our little lady keeps growing and growing, and as she does, the gayvibes just get stronger and stronger. My crush has grown to a disturbing (possibly Chris Hansen inducing) level, and I'm wondering when she's gonna buy a carabiner keychain.
Anyways, The Runaways made it's debut at Sundance this weekend, and Kristen Stewart! Interviews, the red carpet, standing next to Dakota Fanning, it's obvious how un-groomed for celebrity she is. Wearing a ratty hoody She's so wonderfully awkward, and you could make a severe drinking game out of how many sentences she's unable to finish (hint: all of them)
In the beginning of this video, you can see Kris walking the carpet, and she spies the interviewers out of the corner of her eye. She tries to avoid eye contact and make a beeline for the exit, as her .. manager? mom? chaperone? who knows .. escorts her towards them muttering "you've gotta... you gotta..." Poor thing! It's nearly painful to watch her being interviewed. You know she just wants to go home and listen to some 'vintage' sleater-kinney and be done with it.
She geeks out about spending so much time with Joan Jett and what an inspiration she is to her, but the real goodies start at 1:30.
First, an interviewer asks her if it's "great to be a rock chick", which is just a stupid question altogether, but Kris' smirk and "Yeahhh......" is worth your time. Then, and you can hardly hear the question, but someone asks what it was like "getting it on" with Dakota Fanning... I can't even describe how amazingly adorable her stuttering answer is... "Uh it's just uh something we like.. did....."
This video shows the obvious difference between Dakota and Kristen as celebrities. You can tell that Dakota is trying really hard to seem relaxed and not polished and coached,and Kristen is trying not to run out of the room screaming. Dakota's like "i'm wearing a leather jacket! feel my rebellion!!" and Kristen's like "is there a Good Vibes around here?"
The interviewer asks about the kissing scene at around 2:38, and this is so so so good. Kristen shakes her head and goes "it was horrible! ... I hated doing it", after which they both look at each other and laugh. Dakota seems kind of annoyed and says "she's kidding, everybody...." before Kstew tries to lovingly calm her down for insulting her, to which she pulls away going "No!! What???". The final verdict on the kiss from miss thing herself? "It was cool"
Finally, we have Kris gushing about the strength of her mentor and possible older lady crush object Joan Jett. The key to this final video is to insert the word "lesbian" any time she pauses awkwardly (@ :11, :16, :26, + :28). It totally works! ok, ok, the last one, you'd need to insert "was a lesbian". my bad. either way, it's so clear that she's trying to say that Joan Jett is an inspiration to dyke bitches everywhere. She has to make it look like a film with feminist undertones, instead of a big old lez fest. Understood, Kris, I smell what you're cooking.
I'm totally going to fight the hordes of teen girls to see this on opening night. I'll bring a flask, some mace, and a signed picture of Robert Pattinson to ward them off if need be, but I will be there. I might dress up, maybe take pictures... then maybe get arrested for taking pictures of teen girls dressed as Cherie Curie... get a talkin' to by Chris Hanson.. drink some ice tea....
or... maybe it'll leak online first! and I'll be sure to share the link if one pops up.
Come on nerds, hook us up!!
History! KStew Dyke Watch parts 1 - 2 - 3 and 4
Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch pt V
Just five months ago, I wrote the original installation of Kristen Stewart Dyke Watch. I expected this to be a one time thing, mostly a joke, just goofing around. Poking fun at our society (both homo and heterocentric) and their need to order and organize people.
But then it kept coming.. and coming... and coming... the clues, the hints, the overt flaunting of lesbianism..
Our little lady keeps growing and growing, and as she does, the gayvibes just get stronger and stronger. My crush has grown to a disturbing (possibly Chris Hansen inducing) level, and I'm wondering when she's gonna buy a carabiner keychain.
Anyways, The Runaways made it's debut at Sundance this weekend, and Kristen Stewart! Interviews, the red carpet, standing next to Dakota Fanning, it's obvious how un-groomed for celebrity she is. Wearing a ratty hoody She's so wonderfully awkward, and you could make a severe drinking game out of how many sentences she's unable to finish (hint: all of them)
In the beginning of this video, you can see Kris walking the carpet, and she spies the interviewers out of the corner of her eye. She tries to avoid eye contact and make a beeline for the exit, as her .. manager? mom? chaperone? who knows .. escorts her towards them muttering "you've gotta... you gotta..." Poor thing! It's nearly painful to watch her being interviewed. You know she just wants to go home and listen to some 'vintage' sleater-kinney and be done with it.
She geeks out about spending so much time with Joan Jett and what an inspiration she is to her, but the real goodies start at 1:30.
First, an interviewer asks her if it's "great to be a rock chick", which is just a stupid question altogether, but Kris' smirk and "Yeahhh......" is worth your time. Then, and you can hardly hear the question, but someone asks what it was like "getting it on" with Dakota Fanning... I can't even describe how amazingly adorable her stuttering answer is... "Uh it's just uh something we like.. did....."
This video shows the obvious difference between Dakota and Kristen as celebrities. You can tell that Dakota is trying really hard to seem relaxed and not polished and coached,and Kristen is trying not to run out of the room screaming. Dakota's like "i'm wearing a leather jacket! feel my rebellion!!" and Kristen's like "is there a Good Vibes around here?"
The interviewer asks about the kissing scene at around 2:38, and this is so so so good. Kristen shakes her head and goes "it was horrible! ... I hated doing it", after which they both look at each other and laugh. Dakota seems kind of annoyed and says "she's kidding, everybody...." before Kstew tries to lovingly calm her down for insulting her, to which she pulls away going "No!! What???". The final verdict on the kiss from miss thing herself? "It was cool"
Finally, we have Kris gushing about the strength of her mentor and possible older lady crush object Joan Jett. The key to this final video is to insert the word "lesbian" any time she pauses awkwardly (@ :11, :16, :26, + :28). It totally works! ok, ok, the last one, you'd need to insert "was a lesbian". my bad. either way, it's so clear that she's trying to say that Joan Jett is an inspiration to dyke bitches everywhere. She has to make it look like a film with feminist undertones, instead of a big old lez fest. Understood, Kris, I smell what you're cooking.
I'm totally going to fight the hordes of teen girls to see this on opening night. I'll bring a flask, some mace, and a signed picture of Robert Pattinson to ward them off if need be, but I will be there. I might dress up, maybe take pictures... then maybe get arrested for taking pictures of teen girls dressed as Cherie Curie... get a talkin' to by Chris Hanson.. drink some ice tea....
or... maybe it'll leak online first! and I'll be sure to share the link if one pops up.
Come on nerds, hook us up!!
History! KStew Dyke Watch parts 1 - 2 - 3 and 4
Love Songs For Thug BF
I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Love Songs For Thug BF
I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Love Songs For Thug BF
I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Skeletons
Photo by Nick
Yeah Yeah Yeahs just released a video for their upcoming single Skeletons. The clip reminds me of the films of Guy Maddin or like a modern and less kooky version of the Smashing Pumpkins Tonight, Tonight. Love the spooky 1900's vibe! In short, Skeletons is a great looking video that totally fits the mood of the song...just what a music video should be.
Check out the video, A-Trak's remix of Heads Will Roll (one of the best remixes of 09) and to continue this week's covers theme, Harlem Shakes' version of Y Control!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)
Harlem Shakes - Y Control (Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover)
Skeletons
Photo by Nick
Yeah Yeah Yeahs just released a video for their upcoming single Skeletons. The clip reminds me of the films of Guy Maddin or like a modern and less kooky version of the Smashing Pumpkins Tonight, Tonight. Love the spooky 1900's vibe! In short, Skeletons is a great looking video that totally fits the mood of the song...just what a music video should be.
Check out the video, A-Trak's remix of Heads Will Roll (one of the best remixes of 09) and to continue this week's covers theme, Harlem Shakes' version of Y Control!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)
Harlem Shakes - Y Control (Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover)
Skeletons
Photo by Nick
Yeah Yeah Yeahs just released a video for their upcoming single Skeletons. The clip reminds me of the films of Guy Maddin or like a modern and less kooky version of the Smashing Pumpkins Tonight, Tonight. Love the spooky 1900's vibe! In short, Skeletons is a great looking video that totally fits the mood of the song...just what a music video should be.
Check out the video, A-Trak's remix of Heads Will Roll (one of the best remixes of 09) and to continue this week's covers theme, Harlem Shakes' version of Y Control!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)
Harlem Shakes - Y Control (Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover)
Return the favor
You readers are fucking awesome. And you want to know why? Cause when I listened to "I WIsh I Was Him", all I heard was KATHLEEN. And then I went right back to listening to my crappy k-pop and cried myself to sleep. I guess my mind does not function that way. I can't really multi-task, as much as I try to. Anywho...
I love a good cover. Who doesn't? Sometimes they're straightforward and other times, bands turn these songs into something so unimaginable, it hurts to even think about. Being in a band, I've had MANY a dream about covers. And when I think about it, all I want to cover is "Love Will Never Do Without You" by Janet Jackson. "Surf City" by Jan & Dean runs a very close second. Ugh covers.
Role call:
Doveman - Let's Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams)
Bette Midler - Leader Of The Pack (The Shangri-Las)
This one gets crazy at the end, guys.
Glass Candy - Johnny, Are You Queer? (Josie Cotton)
Department Of Eagles - Too Little Too Late (Jojo)
Robyn - Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)
Return the favor
You readers are fucking awesome. And you want to know why? Cause when I listened to "I WIsh I Was Him", all I heard was KATHLEEN. And then I went right back to listening to my crappy k-pop and cried myself to sleep. I guess my mind does not function that way. I can't really multi-task, as much as I try to. Anywho...
I love a good cover. Who doesn't? Sometimes they're straightforward and other times, bands turn these songs into something so unimaginable, it hurts to even think about. Being in a band, I've had MANY a dream about covers. And when I think about it, all I want to cover is "Love Will Never Do Without You" by Janet Jackson. "Surf City" by Jan & Dean runs a very close second. Ugh covers.
Role call:
Doveman - Let's Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams)
Bette Midler - Leader Of The Pack (The Shangri-Las)
This one gets crazy at the end, guys.
Glass Candy - Johnny, Are You Queer? (Josie Cotton)
Department Of Eagles - Too Little Too Late (Jojo)
Robyn - Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)
Return the favor
You readers are fucking awesome. And you want to know why? Cause when I listened to "I WIsh I Was Him", all I heard was KATHLEEN. And then I went right back to listening to my crappy k-pop and cried myself to sleep. I guess my mind does not function that way. I can't really multi-task, as much as I try to. Anywho...
I love a good cover. Who doesn't? Sometimes they're straightforward and other times, bands turn these songs into something so unimaginable, it hurts to even think about. Being in a band, I've had MANY a dream about covers. And when I think about it, all I want to cover is "Love Will Never Do Without You" by Janet Jackson. "Surf City" by Jan & Dean runs a very close second. Ugh covers.
Role call:
Doveman - Let's Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams)
Bette Midler - Leader Of The Pack (The Shangri-Las)
This one gets crazy at the end, guys.
Glass Candy - Johnny, Are You Queer? (Josie Cotton)
Department Of Eagles - Too Little Too Late (Jojo)
Robyn - Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)
Covers!
Since Grizzly Bear just covered Hot Chip's Boy From School, I thought a covers post was in order! I'm pretty sure everybody loves a good cover, so there's really not much else to say.