If there's anything that warms my heart more than Lisa Frank, it's hackers. In the early-mid nineties, was there anything cooler than a hacker? Who didn't want to be a hacker? Shit, if it's good enough for Angelina Jolie, Matthew Broderick (..gay..), and Tron, then it's good enough for me. Even Ghostwriter had a hacker episode, featuring Julia Styles as a middle school hell-raiser named "Max Mouse". Get it, Julia!
This is why I was amazed and delighted when ESPN.com was invaded on Monday by some Lisa Frank style hackers. There are two reasons why this is absolutely fantastic.
Reason #1: In order to unlock the hack, you had to input the Konami Code. If you don't know the Konami code from being a total nerd having lots of friends and being super cool, you know it from the song "Anyone Else But You" by the Moldy Peaches ("Up up, down down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start"). Using the code got you all kinds of goodies + super secret levels in a ton of video games (most notably, Contra). Being a little girl forced to play video games with a mouth-breathing, basement dwelling, evil step brother, knowing the code for every game became a life-or-death situation. Thanks for the 1-ups, Konami code!
Reason #2: Once you entered in the Konami Code, all you had to do was hit enter, and the site went all Pride Parade on your ass. With every keystroke, the screen would light up with rainbows and unicorns of the glitter variety! ESPN became "Amazing ESPN!" Each press of the button would coat the screen with loveliness. Of course, like everything else I've ever loved (see : cub, Bleep N' Grind, and Valerie Solanas) I only find out about magical moments in time once they cease to exist. For a small taste of what this amazingness might have been like, you can check out Cornify, the "#1 unicorn and rainbow service worldwide, giving websites sparkle around the world!". Thank god for the internet!
Obviously, we immediately knew what this was about. Clearly, some overzealous queer was submitting to us the Ultimate Chrissy tribute! We are flattered, honored, and humbled, dear hacker. However, because this website failed to include the Angel Kitty herself, the Young Creatures have no choice but to disqualify this entry. Feel free to email us with your new hackjob! Does Carrie Prejean have a website? I think she could use a little unicorn and rainbow action in her life, don't you?
This having come to light, we've decided to extend the deadline for our Coloring Contest! You now have until Sunday, May 17th to send us your best renditions of Chrissy. Don't have a scanner? Email us for an address, or meet me on a street corner for the pass.
Along with the extended deadline, we've added some awesome, totally queer prizes, including mix CD's lovingly hand crafted by the Young Creatures and some amazing DVDs from Birds of Lace!
You can send your submissions to YC@youngcreature.com and you can download Chrissy HERE. We can't wait to see them!
3 comments:
this is incredibly magical. i can't believe you managed to include gayorrism, rainbows AND julia stiles all in one post (3 of my favorite things.)
lady, I think you'd particularly enjoy the clips and bits of Bleep N' Grind that are found on these interwebs we share. A psychedlic robot stripper musical/ light show AKA yes yes yes. It makes me feel like a worthless human being that I didn't come up with it.
this was the best thing to read first thing in the morning!
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