I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Love Songs For Thug BF
Love Songs For Thug BF
I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Love Songs For Thug BF
I got a gal pal named Keisha who recently pointed out to me that thugs are #1. Which is kind of true. Actually it's really true. Last night was spent helping her troll through Chicago's Craigslist for thug boyfriends who will treat a bitch good but isn't afraid to have a yelling match in public outside my local 7-11 (Did you know most 7-11's are safe zones? I just found this out the other day while buying cigs and a double gulp. Hells yeah!). Basically, she's looking for a hyper-man. And I'm jumping aboard this ship cause I'm done with nice boys who turn out to be stupid pieces of shit and mooch all my money and shit. Fuck that. Get a job, hipster queers with nautical tattoos.
But my girlfriend is onto something. I want a man in the streets and a quasi-freak in the sheets. I mean, at least take me to Olive Garden first or something, you know? Soup/salad/breadsticks for lunch and Red Lobster cheesy biscuits for dinner. Now that's my ideal date. As of right now, I can't even get a dude to bring me to McDonald's. FML.
Here are some songs I'd entice thugs with. And knowing my luck, they'd be like WTF is this shit?
FUNK ROCK:
Hot Chip - Sexual Healing
Mary Jane Girls - In My House
Missy Elliott - Pussycat
Gorillaz - Stylo (ft. Bobby Womack & Mos Def)
P.S.
This is how you accept an award. Gaga, your time is over.
Gay Sluts
I love how I use this blog for anything remotely gay. And do I have a whopper. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have until the end of December 1st, 2009 to hook up with someone. Apparently I made a promise to my friend Anthony to stop being such a whiny boring pussyboy and actually be human for once. And I guess that involves sticking things where I will probably regret the day after.
But in all honesty. I love sluts. I'm sort of jealous of gay sluts. They just run around free doing whatever it is they do without a gay care in the world. And of course, I'm on the extreme other end worrying about Super AIDS and learning Korean to fuck with whitey. What's a gaysian stoner to do? Who is he going to find that he will like? I need gayer, sluttier friends. Friends that will convince me to do bad things. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm wholesome and cute. I want to be hot and dirty. Sort of. OK, not really. But you get the idea. I definately have a Madonna/Whore complex.
Here are a list of things that can get you through the front door:
1. Thuggin' it.
2. Gaysian Stoner Thuggin' it
3. A car
4. McDonald's
5. Jo Kwon
Here is a list of things that will get you denied:
1. If you like that TV show "The Big Bang Theory"
2. No manners
3. You listen to Lady Gaga (Though if you're thuggin' it, you don't even know that skank)
4. Unable to hi-five me properly
It's not hard.
Missy Elliott - Hot Boyz
Spank Rock - Loose (ft. Amanda Blank)
Pomohomo - Dunkin' Donuts
O HAI!!!!!
Gay Sluts
I love how I use this blog for anything remotely gay. And do I have a whopper. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have until the end of December 1st, 2009 to hook up with someone. Apparently I made a promise to my friend Anthony to stop being such a whiny boring pussyboy and actually be human for once. And I guess that involves sticking things where I will probably regret the day after.
But in all honesty. I love sluts. I'm sort of jealous of gay sluts. They just run around free doing whatever it is they do without a gay care in the world. And of course, I'm on the extreme other end worrying about Super AIDS and learning Korean to fuck with whitey. What's a gaysian stoner to do? Who is he going to find that he will like? I need gayer, sluttier friends. Friends that will convince me to do bad things. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm wholesome and cute. I want to be hot and dirty. Sort of. OK, not really. But you get the idea. I definately have a Madonna/Whore complex.
Here are a list of things that can get you through the front door:
1. Thuggin' it.
2. Gaysian Stoner Thuggin' it
3. A car
4. McDonald's
5. Jo Kwon
Here is a list of things that will get you denied:
1. If you like that TV show "The Big Bang Theory"
2. No manners
3. You listen to Lady Gaga (Though if you're thuggin' it, you don't even know that skank)
4. Unable to hi-five me properly
It's not hard.
Missy Elliott - Hot Boyz
Spank Rock - Loose (ft. Amanda Blank)
Pomohomo - Dunkin' Donuts
O HAI!!!!!
Gay Sluts
I love how I use this blog for anything remotely gay. And do I have a whopper. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have until the end of December 1st, 2009 to hook up with someone. Apparently I made a promise to my friend Anthony to stop being such a whiny boring pussyboy and actually be human for once. And I guess that involves sticking things where I will probably regret the day after.
But in all honesty. I love sluts. I'm sort of jealous of gay sluts. They just run around free doing whatever it is they do without a gay care in the world. And of course, I'm on the extreme other end worrying about Super AIDS and learning Korean to fuck with whitey. What's a gaysian stoner to do? Who is he going to find that he will like? I need gayer, sluttier friends. Friends that will convince me to do bad things. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm wholesome and cute. I want to be hot and dirty. Sort of. OK, not really. But you get the idea. I definately have a Madonna/Whore complex.
Here are a list of things that can get you through the front door:
1. Thuggin' it.
2. Gaysian Stoner Thuggin' it
3. A car
4. McDonald's
5. Jo Kwon
Here is a list of things that will get you denied:
1. If you like that TV show "The Big Bang Theory"
2. No manners
3. You listen to Lady Gaga (Though if you're thuggin' it, you don't even know that skank)
4. Unable to hi-five me properly
It's not hard.
Missy Elliott - Hot Boyz
Spank Rock - Loose (ft. Amanda Blank)
Pomohomo - Dunkin' Donuts
O HAI!!!!!