Don't attempt this after eating a buttload of kimchi and watching South Park. Lord, I tried. I had to wait until the morning after to even think about it. Kimchi is like crack. It's gross, you never think you'd ever do it, and then when you do it's like, don't even try to deny it cause YOU'RE LIVING IN ADDICTION.
Anyways, 2009 was a great and horrible year. But 2000-2009 was the weirdest decade ever. Some killer jams came out, a bunch of movies I finally got around to seeing have become close to my heart, and Lady Gaga ruined my hope for humanity. Especially since the UK has existed for years and we haven't paid attention to the crap that comes from there with the same intensity (Same Difference, S Club all-of-them, Spice Girl solo careers, STEPS). A lot of people passed (OMG, Brittany Murphy anyone? TY? TY!!!), queers are gettin hated on by their government (What else is new), and we have a president who is really testing my patience. All in all, 2009 is like all other years. Rocky, tumultuous, boring, and I'm glad it's over. Here's the top 10 list of things that kept my head up high since 1999:
After the cut!
1. Jennifer Lopez falling at the American Music Awards, which by the way, why hasn't this award show been cancelled yet?
Jennifer Lopez is human. She falls down. She gets back up. How inspiring for the rest of us and our boring lives.
2. Lou Reed makes an iPhone application for the elderly with visual impairments
3. Grizzly Bear had a huge year. I love me some Grizzly Bear. "Veckatimest" was simply my favorite album in a LONG LONG TIME. I was hangry for some music. And then they topped it with a little dreamy ditty off the gay-as-fuck Twilight New Moon soundtrack and all my private parts went a little loopy. How in the world did movie producers even talk these bands into supplying jams for scenes with werewolves and vampires and stupid skinny girls?
4.
Yeah whatever, it's from like, 2006 or something stupid, but I just watched "The Room" the other week and all I can think about is who the fuck does that Lisa bitch think she is? She's not hot and she needs to start treating people nicer. MOM, I'm looking at you for guidance.
5. Third and Delaware is the greatest blog ever invented. I feel like the internet is over now that I've found the perfect combination of beautiful prose, chicken shirts, and Joan Collins.
6. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia finally hit their stride with this:
I don't know about other cat lovers, but I shit my pants when I saw what we were all thinking of doing on the TV.
7. Jann Terri has been ROBBED. Her time of success has COME:
8. Official Summer '09 Jam goes to Major Lazer's "Keep It Goin' Louder" featuring Ricky Blaze and Nina Sky. I know you remember that "Move Ya Body" song. This is 1397818097412 times better.
9. The re-emergence of Grace Jones.
We needed a bad ass bitch to come back and show us what music is. Take note, pop bitches.
10. KPOP brought me up this year and ruined it all at the same time.
Please please let 2010 be the year of breaking cycles. I can't become obsessed with something so cute and dumb ever again.
11. Hercules & Love Affair's "Blind" is bangin.
12. Family Guy
13. 'NSYNC
14. CATBUS
Please please let 2010 be the year of breaking cycles. I can't become obsessed with something so cute and dumb ever again.
The Worst:
1. Lady Gaga taking over everything.
2. Lux Interior (of The Cramps) dying
3. 500 Days Of Summer was the worst movie ever. And I was angry about it for weeks after viewing.
4. Fucking Kpop.
5. Ben Affleck
The Best of 2009 is coming later this week.
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